Rest

Father God just amazes me once again. He knows what I really need now.

Ever since aug'08 I have been seeking healing. Healing for this broken heart.
Thinking that time will be the best healer (as what every one says). Yet as time passes hatred, hurt, bitterness and feeling of unjust never seems to have left me. It’s seems stronger or am I trying to suppress this emotion? I really don’t know how to explain. I still lament, still resent about the past. Breakup, police, hurts, disappointments, heartbreak, grandma etc, 2008 wasn’t easy for me. All my life I wanted just a normal life. I do not mind doing the same things over & over again. I do not want any ups or down in my life. I hate being in the valley, neither do I like ups in life. I just simply want a normal life. 2008 I am in the valley not knowing when will I climb out of this pit. I tried to forgive, but it is so hard to forgive. I know letting go will set me free. But how to let go? Yes it is not entirely her fault; well it takes 2 hands to clap. I have my fair share of contributions to this heart wrenching ending. What I was may be one of the many reasons that lead to this heartbreak.

Every 10 years series encouragement is easier said than done. But God is so loving, He knows what’s best for me. All this while it’s never about healing from this broken heart. I did not even realize this until I heard this song. I almost cried when I heard it. God just knows how to use the right words to console me. Indeed through out this valley season, God never spoke to me about healing. He only promise me restoration, which I have my doubts (naturally). Occasionally I pray for healing & my heart to be made whole again. Yet this is not what I really need now.

The lyrics were written as if God is singing into my heart. Like what the song says
no more tears you left to cry
wishing that you could die
and make this hurt go away
this endless raging storm
has left your heart so torn
you simply can’t see the way

Dennis Jernigan couldn't have writen this song for me. It must be God.
100% of the lyrics spoke through my heart.
Indeed like the title of this song, I need to Rest.
Rest in the arms of my loving savior.
Rest my thoughts from the past.
Rest my heart from hurting.
Rest in the love of God

How amazing God is. Isn't He? I used to think my direction in life now is seeking healing. God change this path, what I need now is rest. Just simply resting. I realize only in resting there can be a release. God ways are really better than ours. God made it so easy for me. Now this choice is mine. Yes even in resting it is struggle. Letting Go & Letting God.
God help me.

I'm reminded of Psalm 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
3 He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

The key word here is "He makes me", I stand amaze.
Even in resting God is the one "forcing" me to rest.
It’s never about my efforts. No wonder Jesus said; “It is finished.”
How marvelous, how wonderful is my savior’s love for me?

..:: Rest ::..

when everything you are
just seems to fall apart
and you're alone in the dark
sorrow like endless rain
no longer hide your pain
and now you’ve drifted too far
come down from the ledge of your own broken heart
run here to my open arms where you can't fall apart

I’ll be your light in dark
I’ll be right where you are
I’ll hold you close through this pain
I’ll calm the raging tide
I’ll be right by your side
I’ll shelter you from this rain

put your head on My shoulder (x2)
and rest
come to Me and rest

no more tears you left to cry
wishing that you could die
and make this hurt go away
this endless raging storm
has left your heart so torn
you simply can’t see the way
come down from the ledge of your own broken heart
run here to my open arms where you can't fall apart

I’ll be your light in dark
I’ll be right where you are
I’ll hold you close through your pain
I’ll calm your raging tide
I’ll be right by your side
I’ll shelter you from this rain

Put your head on my shoulder (x2)
and rest
come to me and rest