FoRgIvEnEsS

Sigh, FORGIVENESS easier said than done.
We preach about forgivess.
We advise people to forgive.
"Forgive is not about letting the other person go scott free."
"Forgive is about releasing yourself from bitterness & agony."
"Holding on to anger will only damage your health."
blah... blah... blah...blah...

Even Father God says to us to forgive;
Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

ya ya all these 10 years series Factology who don't know.
All these facts I know.
But its one thing to verbalise forgiveness, its another major hurdle to practice forgiveness.

Forgive & Forget. It’s not easy. Mind I say it’s impossible.
Though I suffer from STM (short term memory), but this pain to forget haha, never will I (i think).

Guess I need to depend on Jesus more & more each day heal this broken heart of mine.
Without realising how much Jesus suffered for my forgiveness in God.
How else will I know how to forgive her? Jesus didn't just die on the cross just to show me he loves me. He did it to make payments for my sins, which I could never have fulfilled. Jesus is the one that made me stand in front or God the Father cleanse & fully forgiven.

To me forgiveness is not about forgetting. Forgiveness is about looking at that person/issue and realise that the sting is no more there. I am still not in this stage yet, and I don't when will I be. I sure pray that day(s) will come soon.

Just like what Michael Jackson says it;
still i cry alone at night
don’t you judge of my composure’
cause i’m lying to myself
and the reason why she left me
did she find in someone else?

still i cry alone at night
don’t you judge of my composure’
cause i’m bothered everyday
and she didn’t leave a letter
she just up and ran away

strong out weak in
Need I say more???

i gave her money
i gave her time
i gave her everything
inside one heart could find
i gave her passion
my very soul
i gave her promises
and secrets so untold

and she promised me forever
and a day we’d live as one
we made our vows
we’d live a life anew
and she promised me in secret
that she’d love me for all time
it’s a promise so untrue
tell me what will i do?

and it doesn’t seem to matter
and it doesn’t seem right
’cause the will has brought
no fortune

still i cry alone at night
don’t you judge of my composure
’cause i’m lying to myself
and the reason why she left me
did she find in someone else?

(who is it? )
it is a friend of mine
(who is it? )
is it my brother!
(who is it? )
somebody hurt my soul, now
(who is it? )
i can’t take this stuff no more

i am the damned
i am the dead
i am the agony inside
the dying head
this is injustice
woe unto thee
i pray this punishment
would have mercy on me

and she promised me forever
that we’d live our life as one
we made our vows
we’d live a love so true
it seems that she has left me
for such reasons unexplained
i need to find the truth
but see what will i do!

and it doesn’t seem to matter
and it doesn’t seem right
’cause the will has brought
no fortune
still i cry alone at night
don’t you judge of my composure
’cause i’m bothered everyday
and she didn’t leave a letter
she just up and ran away

(who is it? )
it is a friend of mine
(who is it? )
is it my brother?
(who is it? )
somebody hurt my soul, now
(who is it? )
i can’t take it ’cause i’m lonely

(who is it? )
it is friend of mine
(who is it? )
to me i’m bothered
(who is it? )
somebody hurt my soul, now
(who is it? )
i can’t take it ’cause i’m lonely