你不愛我

Finally tears drop again. To be honest, I am not sure how to fully express this sorrow that is inside. All these while should have listen to Father. Stupid me. Stubborn me. Foolish me. To have allow hurt to come back. Jesus said to forgive those who hurt you seventy seven times (Matthew 18:22). Yet when you want to, you would place yourself in frailty of getting hurt again. Why did I allow her to hurt me once again? Whether did she meant it or not, or did she purposely do it. I don't know. She said she didn't meant to? But all I know I allowed all these to take place. Hurt came in. Father repeatedly told me countless times to ignore her. I never listen. I told through her actions I knew she never love me at all. When my scar is sealing up, salt came in to open it. I don't know when it will seal back again. Father help me.

Love ultimately is about choice & commitment. Feelings comes & goes. She never understand or rather I don't know how to make her understand this. To her all she care about is being in a state of happiness. I am not a person good with words.
Can I ask to all women, is words more important than actions?
I mean as long as the man knows how to say "I love you" or knows how to says the right words he woman is satisfied. Even if the man doesn't want to commit love to her?
She said I don't love her. Always shouts at her. Love always encompasses actions, just like how Jesus love us to die for us. Though I don't know how to love her in the way she actually desires, but didn't I sacrifice much? I am not here to put a feather on my cap. Who is to judge? Don't say you love someone when your reciprocal actions brings hurt.

Woman woman.
Even woman can't under woman.
Even woman can't understand herself. Don't say you love someone when your actions brings about hurt & much sorrow. Even when she knows it's the wrong choice. Even as a friend, do you know it hurts me to see her in such a state? When will she ever wake up?
Father you are the one that fully understand her. Love her the way she desires to be loved. Don't let her hurt herself again. Help her. Watch over her. Take care of her for me. I don't even know how to pray. Father only you know what's best for her.

Don't say you love someone when your reciprocal actions brings hurt.
I am not him.
I don't want to be like him.
I am not a spare.

I hate this MTV, but the lyrics are meaningful.
Such a wonderful song, yet the director went to depict it as lesbianism.
A girl left the guy for another girl.
Stupid

你不愛我
詞:李焯雄 曲：薛忠銘

习惯被拒絕的人会先拒绝
those who had been rejected, will be the first to reject
这一次至少是我先说离别
this time I am the first to say goodbye
有一些痛楚看不见泪水
there's some hurt that carries no tears
有一种防卫叫做我无所谓
the only cure is to ignore it

要让你快乐原是我的心原
your happiness is all that I desire
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
yet you are always ignorant of my hurt
丟給我一些喜悅的碎屑
gave me an instant joy
却帶走我一切
but took away eveything

你不愛我 是我捨不得 是我不配为你再狼狽
you don't love me, yet i'm not willing to let go, i'm not deserving to be in this with you
你不愛我 你真的不愛我 尽力而為我拼命給也是浪費
you don't love me, you really don't love me, with all i am i gave my all, its just a waste

你不愛我 是我捨不得 是我不配和命運作对
you don't love me, yet i'm not willing to let go, i'm not deserving to be encircled by fate
你不愛我 你真的不愛我 一直以为我是后卫 原來只是那后备
you don't love me, you really don't love me, i used to think i'm your rear guard,
ultimatly i'm just your spare.