God's Man

Have I lost the passion, to desire to become God's man? I don't even know it myself. All of a sudden I find myself not so pasionate about doing God's work at all. Why? I don't even know why? Yet God has been calling me. Felt so pressured. Felt like giving up everything that is related to church. Yet when I look back at His faithfulness in my life. I held back that decision. Why does God still want to hold such great hope in me? How can a worthless piece of SHIT like me be able to be His man.

God has been calling to into joining the Alpha Track. Which is a local 3 months mission in my church.
Well all these wouldn't take place until I graduate. I kept telling myself not to be so bothered by this. As there is still a long way to go. Things might change. Anyway there is alot concerns in my mind right now. My relationship. My exams results. My income. etc etc. So many things up my mind now. If only everything in my life can just go smoothly.

Like the old saying of Jesus;
Matthew 6:25-34
25"So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing?
26Look at the birds. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are.
27Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not.
28"And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing,
29yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
30And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you? You have so little faith!
31"So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing.
32Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs,
33and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.
34"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

Jesus said seek first the kingdom of God and all this things will be added to you. Ha Ha Ha. When you see your friends worrying about their life or finances, you will find it so easy to advice them using the above verses. Yet when the table is turn to me, this verse doesn't speak to me at all.
All I can say is that God has been reminding me about this verse.

What else can I do?
Put my trust in Him lor...
Father I do believe, help me in my unbelief.
Give me a measure of faith to believe you.