Man oso got P.M.S. (I can't believe it oso)

Actually I wanted to titled this post as Morning Madness,
but I think the latter one sounds better.
(ha ha it rymths)

I can't even understand myself today. Out of a sudden I find myself so moody. Just a sudden mood change which I can't even seems to be able to bring myself back to composture. Don't even feel like talking to anyone. Don't even feel like saying a word. In short I just don't feel like moving my mouth today. What's worst is that I work as a Customer Service Officer. I used my mouth to work. Just kena shouted at by a caller, idiot caller. Do everything last minute still want to blame the government. I nearly scolded him, but I suppressed my anger.

This morning even my bb ask me what happened to me. I can't even provide her with an answer. Just don't feel like saying anything. Sorry bb hope that you will understand somehow. Probably tiredness is the only reason I can provide you. Just know that I need you beside me ok. Thanks for all your encouragement all this while. I really appreciate all that you have done for me. Love you.

Sigh how come man also got mood change. Man are suppose to hide their feelings. I feel like I have become almost like a woman. Felt so weak. Felt that I am always dependent on someone. What has happened to me? Right now I can't even really understand myself. Why doesn't things just go according to plans. Why things just never seems to go my way? It is not that I cannot face challenges, just that this is a challenge which I really want to advoid. Yet none the less I have to face it. God help me. I know I should stop thinking nonsense, and to move on ahead. I know I should not be held back because of little set backs in life.

Chat with my best buddy on MSN just now even he gave me this encourage counsel:
oh IOW says:
hey, seen like you don share with me anymore
mike says:
sorry pal
mike says:
really no mood to talk to any one
mike says:
just failed my examoh
IOW says:
don dwell on it. look on and strieve hard. Pepole do fail
oh IOW says:
it may seen bad but its jus another learning process. no matter what life goes on with so many bad thing already happened and it only made u stronger in the lord
mike says:
ya ya now all the 10 yrs series answers doesn;t seems to work on me now lei
Sorry brother for being so cold towards you I hope you'll understand that, just that for the next few days I don't think I would not have the mood to entertain anyone. In any case I thank you for your encouragement. xie xie ni

Well right now none of these 10 yrs series advices that people gives to me no longer seems to work on me. It is so easy to encourage others yet when the stone is being throw at you. You can't even seems t encourage yourself. I know that I have to move on. Just that I just can't help myself, I just can't seems to tell myself to stop lamenting. Is it because of tiredness. Or is it because of fear of what lies ahead. So unsure of what is infront of me now.
More subjects to take.
Subjects which I don't like.
Subjects which I can't even imagine myself taking.
More stress added to my studies.
More fear added into my life.
Further more last but not the least, and it is the most important thing in my life and that is I still have a relationship that I treasure. How am I suppose to juggle both relationship & studies well? How to put your concerns & attention to both relationship and studies?

Father oh Father I need your strengthen to pull me through this year. It is not going to be easy for me. Why more & more concerns are added into my life? Can you please stop all these non-sense? I know you love me, and you always have the best for me. Than in any case please show me why do you put me through all this. I need to see what lies ahead. I need to know the reason why? Sorry Father but.....
Thank you...